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Indianapolis, IN


Indianapolis: The Good, The Bad, Some More Bad, T - 9/23/2015
Here are the things that people like about Indy. It's cheap and they brew beer here. There are some places to party on Mass Ave. It's cheap. Oh yeah, did I mention that it's cheap? It's cheap!

Enough about the good. Let's talk about what it's like to live here. As others have pointed out, the people here are peculiar and that's being nice. They don't respond when you say hello or how ya doin. They kind of look at you like you're from another planet. I guess that's the Hoosier Hospitality they're so proud of. If you come from a place with people who are genuine and honest, you'll think it's you at first. It's not, and you can change your deodorant and whatever, but they still won't talk to you. I really think the local drug company, Eli Lilly, flushes pharmaceuticals into the water supply and it affects people's behavior here. That's the theory that makes the most sense, because people simply can't be this mean and nasty without some sort of narcotic thing going on.

The roads are crumbling and you're going to be spending a lot of time on them because it's not safe to live in most of the city. In fact, there are thousands of abandoned homes that surround the Midwestern chain restaurant downtown the locals are so proud of. These are really nasty neighborhoods and the schools are failing, so nobody who can afford to live anywhere else actually lives in Indianapolis. Most like Carmel or Fishers or Noblesville. That's where a lot of the jobs are too, so if you want to partake of the beerpub and bar scene on Mass Ave you either have to drive drunk to get home or risk getting shot if home is nearby.

And let's be honest, okay? Every city in the world has a bar strip like Mass Ave. There's nothing unique or special about it in any way unless you grew up in Oolitic or Kokomo and have never been anywhere bigger than Terre Haute. Then I imagine it's pretty cool.

Come to think of it, every city everywhere has a neighborhood like Fountain Square and Broad Ripple too. Every city eveywhere has a stadium. Every city everywhere has a downtown mall. Every city everywhere has everything that Indianapolis has, although not many are as cheap as Indy. A few are. Detroit, for example. And Memphis. St. Louis, too. Toledo and Flint are as cheap as Indy. They have almost as many murders, too.

Are you connecting the dots yet? I hope so. This is a great city to live in if all you like to do is drink and make jokes about Illinois. If you're deeper than that, you're gonna be disappointed sooner or later. I'm betting on sooner.

Indianapolis, IN


re: Indianapolis is wonderful! - 1/16/2012
- 9/6/2015
Most people who are from a place think it is the nicest place in the world. It's not Kathy. People in Indy are mean and nasty. You like it. Most people don't. Maybe you're mean and nasty too...

Indianapolis, IN


Circle Jerk City - 8/29/2015
I have sold my house and am leaving Indy so take my comment for what it's worth. I've lived here a total of 9 years. They were the longest nine years of my life. There is absolutely nothing I will miss about Indianapolis. Here are the problems, from top to bottom.

1. The People. The old 80/20 rules applies, except in Indy it's the 20/80 rule. 20% of the people are good, decent, nice, etc. The other 80% are among the nastiest people I've ever met. They're rude...boorishly so. They're illiterate. How this can be when they all go to college forever I don't know, but it's true. They have their own brand of behavior called Hoosier Hospitality. They actually believe they're nice. At least in Philly and Buffalo they know what they are. When you say hello to Indy people, they look away or pretend they don't hear you. It's weird. It's like homeschooled kids. No social graces at all. I'd think it was me, but I know too many other people from other places who say the same thing.

2. Downtown. People here go on and on and on and on and on and on about downtown and Mass Ave and Fountain Square as if this is some urban mecca. Uhhh, no. If you want to see cool urban neighborhoods, I suggest going to Bardstown Road in Louisville or anywhere on the Near North side of Chicago. Indy's downtown is mostly empty unless there's a game or convention. That's true of any city. Locals like to point to Livability magazine which said our downtown was #3, but Livability rated Pittsburg #1 and Minneapolis #2. Meanwhile, it ignores Denver, Chicago, Seattle, New Orleans, and a whole host of places with really eclectic and cool downtowns. Livability is click bait, but Indy is a very insecure place and the locals like to brag about such things, even if they are behind Pittsburgh and Minneapolis, two very uncool cities.

3. Crime and Crumbling Neighborhoods. In an effort to prop up downtown, the city has ignored most every other place. The roads are among the worst in America. Crime is off the charts. This city is very dangerous and you'd have to be seriously twisted to invest in it. They have this thing called the CIB that basically funnels money to a few wel-connected billionaires who reap the spoils. Everyone else pays. It's the most corrupt setup imaginable and yet nobody complains because they have this major inferiority complex and gosh, what would they do if Angie's List failed...

4. Hypocrisy. Like most places, Indy is anti-Confederate flag. I had no issue with this until they hoisted a gay rainbow flag on I-70 coming in from the airport next to a sign that says Indy Welcomes All. No, Indy does not welcome all. Indy welcomes gays. It does welcome Confederates or other people who the Convention and Visitors Bureau think will hurt its precious image. Here's the thing. Take a drive through the countryside around Indy and you will see confederate flags everywhere, which is sort of weird since Indiana was a Union state, but hey, what the heck. Anyway, the gay rainbow thing was due to the screeching of a very vocal minority, many of whom are the same people who think Indy is the Paris of the Midwest.

I'm really excited and happy to be leaving. I'm posting this as a public service to help anyone who might be thinking of moving here based on the glowing reviews by the Chamber people, the Visitor's Bureau and the Mayor. This city has duped a lot of people. It duped me, I must admit, but I figured it out pretty quick. Do your homework before moving here. This place is not what the fanboys want you to believe it is.
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