Reviews & Comments
Eureka, CA
Eureka!...the city name that's meant to be ironic. -
3/31/2013I grew up in the area and the best thing about it was leaving. I agree with the previous descriptions of residents that would enjoy this foggy version of HELL.
1) If you’re a drug dealer, you’ve just entered nirvana! This is the only place where the police are more corrupt than the drug dealers. I actually recommend BECOMING a drug addict in order to live here. Do NOT try and wrestle a job from one of the other 100 people begging to work for minimum wage at the Burly Wurly Pancake House, you will regret it. Take your welfare check, buy all the meth you can get your hands on and hide under the drift wood at Table Bluff.
2) If your family has lived there since the 1920’s, you’re IN! You have enough assets and political power to survive by making sure no other businesses come in to compete with you. You can even hire some desperate idiot with a Master’s degree to run your cash register because you’re probably too inbred to do it anyway, and they couldn’t get a different job if their life depended on it.
3) If you’re part of the Fat and Happy government largess community you can give everybody the finger while you take your 13 vacations to sunnier areas. Oh, AND you get to benefit from the overpriced real estate because you can sell your house when you retire to the only other people who can afford it, one of your government coworkers!
4) If you’re a vampire or an albino, you’ll enjoy the constant shadow of fog and rain that protects you from sun. If you’re like the other 99% of people who depend on vitamin D from the sun to keep you from putting a gun in your mouth, see #1 above and make sure you drop an envelope of cash at the south side of the Bayshore Mall, it’s for the corrupt cops so they don’t pull you over on the way out of town.
5) Finally, if you want to experience life in a third world country with absolutely ZERO chance to escape soul-crushing poverty, you’ve found the area for you…except for the fact that in most third world countries you have the benefit of sunlight or a chance at prostituting yourself to wealthier villagers for cash.
Eureka!...the city name that’s meant to be ironic.