If you're allergic to corn on the cob remove the kernels and just eat the cob. To win back the girl, buy a dinghy and the largest boom box you can find, and play Motorhead and AC/DC at full blast in the harbor from midnight to 3 AM. This will get her attention. You will have to extricate yourself from the padded cell the Portland PD will put you in, but the notoriety from this will make the papers and the local news adding to your celebrity. She will swoon and you will win her back, and the loud boat guy will cower and leave town in humiliation.
edmund | Spring Valley, NV | Report Abuse

I know Loud Boat Greg personally. He is a very good man and this is why he has earned his spot on the wharf. And I find Subway to be a very good restaurant, my uncle works there, so this is all just very offensive.
Phil | Scarborough, ME | Report Abuse

I know Loud Boat Greg personally. He is a very good man and this is why he has earned his spot on the wharf. And I find Subway to be a very good restaurant, my uncle works there, so this is all just very offensive.
Phil | Scarborough, ME | Report Abuse

If you thought there was an actual subway system in Portland ME a city of 70k then you’re a complete idiot. If your girlfriend left you for a guy with a loud boat then you should be happy she’s out of your life & this other dummy is stuck with her.
Eric | Aurora, CO | Report Abuse

Hilarious! I'm moving to Portland.
Tropical | El Paso de Robles (Paso Robles), CA | Report Abuse

Well? Did she? Pray tell Reggie, pray tell. Did she come back, did you rescue Melissa from the arms of that bo good, dastardly scoundrel Greg? Please don't say this is grace and you're questioning how it is you came to arrive here? Don't go home, stay, find a shwarma shop and you'll be good now.
Mark | Portland, ME | Report Abuse

I don't know what I just read but I know it amused me and I'd like to see the movie. In the good old days people with allergies would have been subject to natural selection by not being selected. You have science to thank for still being alive
Arloe | Los Angeles, CA | Report Abuse