Austin's mentally ill inbred cousin
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2/22/2018
Let’s get the cons over with first as they are pretty brutal. Then I’ll brighten you up with some of the pros. Ready? Let’s go.
Let's start with the biggest issue in this town. Race relations.
The racial tensions are off the charts. The lower class black community is as openly racist and aggressive to whites as a polar bear is aggressive to, well, anything. If you are white, don't get stuck in a black-owned neighborhood or you'll get lynched. And that's not a joke. I'm dead serious.
The whites are racist but generally won't admit it. The asians are racist and trust no one. Latinos all huddle together. And immigrants have entire neighborhoods to themselves and don’t venture far. You get the point.
Everyone sticks to their own kind and is untrusting of other races. BIG time. The neighborhood segregation by race is stark. Some parts of town claim "diversity", but its a forced effort to say the least. And even in those areas the tensions are through the roof. And deteriorating.
What makes things worse is that talking about it is impossible.
The liberals in Louisville claim they are not racist, and refuse to admit that blacks are racist. Now, what if I told you every liberal I've ever known here would sh*t their pants if caught in the worst parts of the West-end of Louisville. Their fear of lower-class blacks is as primal and huge as their fear of, say, death itself. Because they know that's what they should expect if caught in certain parts of town, or stuck like a deer in headlights affronted by the wrong group of people. Yet it has never occurred to them that blacks can be racist.
Everyone here is racist and nobody will admit it. Yes, everyone here is CRAZY.
As someone else here has stated, the professional services here in general are a living nightmare. This goes for doctors, accountants, lawyers, HVAC, plumbers, electricians, mechanics, or any other professional service you might utilize. Most of the professionals described hate their jobs, hate their clients, and hate you for calling them.
Did you know that Louisville was ranked the 3rd unhappiest city in the country? Yep, we ranked higher than Detroit (which was 5th). Suicide rates: high. Crime rates (violent and property): high. Schools: abysmal. Divorced: a VERY high 13.65%, versus for example a more normal 8.2% in Chicago and 10.2% in Atlanta.
Prepare for all of your worst driving nightmares to come true. Your road rage will just slowly turn into a quiet zen of anger over time. And that simmering ocean of anger that you keep contained inside of you becomes your daily existence. We all go 20 over the speed limit. You only get pulled over if going *more* than 20 over the speed limit. Selfish drivers, aggressive drivers, reckless drivers, creeping slow terrified drivers, oblivious drivers... take them all, mix them up, and set them all loose at the same time on Louisville's woefully inadequate highways and roadways, and you have the insane circus that is your daily commute. What a wonderful way to start your morning.
Heroin use is huge here. Crack and meth of course has a huge fanbase as well. But probably the biggest is prescription drugs. Some areas favor Heroin. Others crack and meth. But prescription drug abuse here is pretty much universal.
Most people born in Louisville have never lived anywhere else, so it's all they know. The people they went to high school with? Yep, those are still their friends. That's not a bad thing, you say? Well this is what it translates to:
If you move here from somewhere else you will have an impossible time making real friends. Everyone here is part of a "clique", and cliques aren't open to new people. Sure, you'll find some nice people who will "sponsor" you within their personal clique and invite you to an event or two. But when you get there you'll see that the invite was an act of charity, everyone else there has been a part of that clique for life (or close to it), and you are NOT wanted. And there's no way to become a real part of that clique. You can only have pity invites on occasion to various different clique events by nice people. But then even your sponsor will see the error in their ways. Of COURSE the clique wasn't going to accept you. You need to have accumulated years and years of crazy *ss stories and memories with these people for them to ever give a single hoot about you. You don't have that with them? Get lost. And this goes for all races, all cultures, all people in Louisville.
This next paragraph is a con for the guys. The women of Louisville are less attractive on average than their male counterparts. This is likely similar to brain-drain, except beauty-drain. The truly beautiful women learn they can leave and have a bigger and better life elsewhere. You know, catch bigger fish. And they do. And to make matters worse, there is no shortage of fit or attractive men. This means a woman who is a “6” can *easily* obtain a guy who is an “8”. But a guy who is a “6”? Prepare to only be able to get a girl who is a 3 or 4. Ouch. Prepare for eternal frustration. But for the women reading this, you can enjoy riding the c*ck carousel well until your 40’s. Just don’t expect any of those c*cks to care about you in this town, ‘cause they won’t. Why? Because the women are spoiled by having a large pool of horny men and so don’t stay loyal. In turn the men are resentful and distrusting of the women and will just use them for sex. Throw in the clique nature of Louisvillians and you get very short-lived relationships that really amount to no more than desperation. It’s a very, VERY toxic dating scene here. Trust me.
Lastly, let’s talk about the climate. The humidity in Louisville is enough to drive you away. When temps reach 100 in July combined with said humidity, outside activities are no longer an option unless you are lucky enough to know someone with a swimming pool or you go to a nearby lake (about an hour drive). This isn’t the same as 100 degrees out West where the humidity is low. That heat is quite tolerable. The air will stagnate because we are in a valley. The air stagnation, crazy humidity, and high summer temps combine to create a bad situation. At these times the air quality alerts stay in the danger zone for 2 out of every 3 days in high summer. The kind of alerts where they advise people to not go outside for any more than 10 minutes. Not that you’d want to.
The city handles snow pretty well, but the drivers not so much. Every day it snows all schools close. If there is a forecast for snow there is a huge run at all groceries and everything flies off the shelves. Snow and wet roads induces complete panic in the drivers of Louisville. If you are a northerner, prepare for the bizarre that is the Louisville general public.
Here are the pros:
The police force here in Louisville is OUTSTANDING. And if you think about it, it makes sense. Every year Louisville hosts the Kentucky Derby, as well as all of the festivities that go along with it, including Thunder Over Louisville which is one of the biggest fireworks shows in the world. During this time of year (April - May) Louisville receives hundreds of thousands of visitors, many of which are celebrities and millionaires wanting to enjoy the massive party. And over a million people push their way into downtown all at once for Thunder Over Louisville. To achieve all of this without hiccups, violence, etc., requires a highly disciplined and organized police force. And that is exactly what Louisville has.
The men and women in uniform here are incredibly responsive, organized, disciplined, courteous and professional. They won’t bother you unless you really deserve it. A lot of this comes with the high racial tensions in this town, coupled with a general hostility towards police officers in some cities throughout the nation. The police here know how to keep a very positive public image, and understand the importance of doing so in these times.
Louisville has many fantastic parks. Really, they are outstanding. And they are packed full on any given warm sunny day.
Louisville works hard to be “cool”. And this has it’s real perks. The cool snobs will say that this city is a lot like Austin, TX. Of course, if it wasn’t for the extreme clique nature of Louisville, along with the hard-line and deteriorating racial environment, that statement could have had some truth to it. If you want to compare us to Austin, it would be fair to say we are Austin’s deeply mentally ill inbred cousin. Lot’s of cool here. But we’re pretty much insane.
The city works hard to keep entertainment going strong throughout the year, and they do a very good job of it. There are free concerts in the summer, festivals, traditional and not-so traditional parades, etc. There are enough venues with enough bookings to satisfy most anyone’s taste. Basketball is big here (UK vs UofL), and so is golf, but not so much many other sports. Although there is a really cool skateboard/bike park downtown with half and full pipes, etc.
If you enjoy nature you’ll need to drive to see the good stuff. But, fortunately, you don’t have to drive far. The Red River Gorge (or, “the gorge”) is a top destination for outdoor enthusiasts. Mammoth Cave is not a far drive. And when you get out of Louisville the beautiful green rolling hills and sunsets will fill your gas tank back up if you get what I mean. Kentucky is not an ugly state. It is full of natural beauty. Sure, it’s a more humble beauty than, say, out West. But if you just get in the car and drive out into the countryside in almost any direction for an hour, you will be happy you did.
There are plenty of jobs to go around. So if you are looking for work, you can find work here in many different sectors. Health, technology, (some) finance, insurance, entertainment, education, manufacturing, and more are here to stay. Yes, the tech sector is dated but has plenty of jobs. The restaurant and hospitality industry here is always going strong.
Low housing costs is obviously a major perk. But be careful… remember when I said that professional services (HVAC, plumbing, etc.) are miserable to work with? Prepare for all of the money you save to be pirated by every company you run across. Seriously, nearly all companies here will rob you. You have to learn how to handle them or you WILL be con’ed.
Spring time and Fall are the times to enjoy Louisville. These are great times to enjoy the city. Especially with the festivities in April and May. This is when the weather is very pleasurable and EVERYONE is outside. You’d be crazy not to be, because Spring and Fall in Louisville are pretty short, and the other two seasons are long and unbearable.
Finally, I’d like to say that the people of Louisville, although absurdly racist, cliquey, selfish, and backwards… can actually be a ton of fun. You just have to get in with a clique and… voila! You’ll find yourself surrounded by very caring, awesome people and you’ll have a sh*t ton of fun. I’m serious. If you can finally “make it” into the scene, which is damn near impossible, you will be greatly rewarded. But don’t mess up once you’ve made it. A clique will turn on you real quick if something is done to damage your reputation in the group. Then you’re screwed and back to being all alone in a city that doesn’t care about you.
In summary:
I definitely recommend visiting, especially in the Spring. It’s a wonderful place to visit, be entertained, and enjoy during that time.
I do not recommend moving here if you have better choices. If you do move here, it’s not the worst city in the world. But prepare for a lot of selfishness. If you come here young (20 years old?) and have an infectious personality, you’ll be getting in early enough to get into some cliques and you’ll do great. ESPECIALLY if you do the restaurant industry. Past the age of 30, people here become shut-ins.
John | Louisville, KY