I wasted two years of my life in this hellhole.
-
9/11/2017
Abilene is a miserable little trash heap of a town and if you're considering moving here, you better have enough money to cover up as much nastiness as possible and low enough standards to not care about the rest. The city itself is ugly as sin with enough abandoned buildings for everyone. If you're looking to enjoy the great outdoors, you can expect a lake full of dead fish and vast miles of flat scrubby wasteland with not a speck of green in sight. Just stay inside and run up your air conditioning bill instead. The city water is undrinkable though, so you'd better stock up on bottled water at one of our many frequently-robbed convenience stores. The crime rate is much higher than reported due to an overly-funded but shockingly incompetent police force. They do manage to catch a terrifying lot of child predators and meth producers though. Culturally, you can expect a tightly-knit community of armed and suspicious white trash, and plenty of fun family activities like drunk driving, sunburn, and avoiding stepping on used needles at the bus stop. The economy is a joke, but there are plenty of pawn shops to go to and get in a fistfight for those rough spots. If you're planning a visit, be sure to reserve a room at one of our many sketchy motels on 1st Street for easy access to all the hookers in the parking lot and the tent city behind the Papa John's!
Chris | Owatonna, MN