Review of Scottsdale, Arizona


Douchebaggery Gone Wild
Star Rating - 11/28/2018
I've had the misfortune of living in this sweltering cesspool for seven years now. I wish I could say I've adapted, that the initial misery I first felt when I moved here from the Pacific Northwest, finally wore off, but life is short. Why lie? In fact, it has gotten worse. Never have I encountered a town with such a preponderance of phonies. The douchebags just keep getting douchier every year. Douchebags "bragging" about the money they don't have. Douchebags leasing douchebag cars, pretending they're owned. Douchebags boasting about getting into D-grade clubs in Old Town - if you can really even call them clubs - or their "VIP" status. Translation: In Scottsdale, VIP means you get to sit in a roped-off area full of douchebags trying to impress the other douchebags around them. Yes, in Scottsdale, douchebaggery abounds. It's sad. It's stale. It's over. These people have no clue how pitiful they look, a bunch of nobodies trying their hardest to impress the other no-name desert rats around them. No thanks. I've talked it over with the missus, and it's official: Tonight we're putting the house up for sale and moving the *bleep* out. It can't happen soon enough.
Charlie | Scottsdale, AZ
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6 Replies


You obviously never lived in Northen Virginia if you think it is bad here.
t | Scottsdale, AZ | Report Abuse

Let me know if you have sold your house. You certainly sound like a motivated buyer. We are moving there shortly and are looking for a nice place.
Jim | Salt Lake City, UT | Report Abuse

Hilarious. I could not agree with you more. I've never seen so many secretly rented luxury vehicles in one zip code in my life. My lease is up in June, and I'm counting down the hours.
Walter | Scottsdale, AZ | Report Abuse

This is so spot on!
Rachelle | Phoenix, AZ | Report Abuse

The comment made me laugh because at times it is true. I've been out here several times, including twice to live. Once for 8 years. A bartender told me (sarcastically) that there are more $50,000 a year millionaires here than anywhere else. She meant people who pretended to have money but its all fake. The scenery is nice. And at times scary, lots of bad plastic surgery, botox. And some serious attitude. But there are some people here with serious money (some legal, some not) with their Porsches, Ferraris, etc. And there are some nice people. I didn't grow up in a resort town so I found it interesting (at least until the economy tanked in 2008) and had a great time. I've recently return and thought maybe I'd retire here in a few years but now I have my doubts. Real estate is way too expensive for the local economy (it isn't an issue for me since my house is nearly paid off, was renting it out for years). While $500K homes may not be anything to CA people, to the typical job in AZ, I think it is a ton. My biggest issue now is the huge build up going on. High rises, Ritz Carlton residences all within 15 minutes of me. Just adds to traffic and congestion. It seems bad now and it is summer (i.e., low season). I'm wondering how bad things will get in the high season. I may be looking for somewhere else to retire to (can't stand the humidity of the southeast).
Rich | Scottsdale, AZ | Report Abuse

LOL. Did you sell your house yet? In all fairness, I feel your pain. I've lived in Scottsdale since 2011, when I moved here for a job. I've never been so miserable. Best of luck to you.
Sebastian | Scottsdale, AZ | Report Abuse
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