Dust, strip malls and planned neighborhoods...
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10/10/2014
Without a doubt, Phoenix is THE worst place I've ever lived. I've been here only 5 months and I'm already in the process of moving away for good. Simply put, Phoenix has zero culture. There's not even decent Mexican food, though Barro's pizza is pretty good...but pizza is not Mexican food.
All Phoenix has to really offer is planned neighborhoods and strip malls, though outdoor activities do exist, you'll travel far to get to them. You'll find a grocery store or gas station every other block and those of you who like to get out and walk, prepare to do so with no cover from the sun...ever. Speaking of walking places: you could do it, but it will most likely take you a long time to get to your strip mall destination. This is a car town, folks. That being said, Phoenix has THE best city grid I've ever seen. It's roads are long, straight and go on forever and ever, with no end or change in sight.
As for weather, when it's hot in the summer (hot is not 102; hot is 115), pray that the electricity doesn't cut out or you will surely succumb to heat stroke while in your home. If you park your car outside in the summer, chances are it will have suffered significant sun damage. When it rains, prepare for flash-flooding of biblical proportions only to see the water all be gone in a matter of hours. Watch out for microbursts, those pesky thunderstorm down bursts that can rip the roof off of your house or flip a semi truck, but not before a haboob has covered everything in dust, which most likely will contain Valley Fever spores. Granted, Phoenix has the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen, but it's a land of extremes. And folks here will defend this city's honor to the bitter end during the milder winter months, choosing to live in this odd, amnesia-like delusion that summer is long gone...but make no mistake, it will rear it's ugly head again. it's a vicious, vicious cycle and if you don't accept this simple fact, you will pay dearly with your sanity.
Phoenix "culture" is kinda like a desert version of Jersey Shore, especially in Scottsdale. Just lots of folks driving raised pick-up trucks, shiny sports cars and rocking out with cheesy Affliction apparel. I don't care if Scottsdale and Phoenix were founded at different times, Scottsdale is merely a rich man's suburb of Phoenix. People in LA get a bad reputation for being snooty, but honestly, they can't hold a candle up to the majority of folks I've come across in Phoenix (and it's suburb of Scottsdale). When you first arrive, prepare to feel like you're wasting people's time just by existing. Locals will stare at you, refusing to say hello, as if being cordial were a cardinal sin...if they do say hello, it will be done in a way that will make you feel like an outsider. That being said, it seems the only nice folks here are not native.
All in all, Phoenix is like a sun-soaked, voluntary lobotomy for your soul. For those of you who enjoy thinking outside of the box, stay away from this sprawling, concrete hellhole. For those of you who are either masochistic, sadistic, sociopathic or have too much money to care, Phoenix may be the place for you.
Rob | Phoenix, AZ