Unhappy in Greenville, SC
-
6/14/2010
Dear Brooklyn,
The whole upstate of South Carolina is a horrible place to live. I have been here 36 years and all of the new folks moving in are ruining it for the rest of us. Go back to wherever you came from and leave us alone in our backwards and ignorant ways. We don't like you and don't want you here. The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence. It is hot and humid and miserable with huge mosquitoes that can carry off a large dog or small child. People here have no sense of humor and have no idea of what sarcasm is even if it bit them on the butt. If you are looking for a miserable time come between March and June or September through November and prepare to be totally unimpressed. Or worse yet come between December and March and not only be unable to find any snow to shovel, but be prepared to do it in a long sleeve shirt and no coat. Do not expect to see any hawks, falcons, bald eagles, owls, vultures, canadian geese, blue buntings, yellow finches, robins, mockingbirds, wrens, titmouses, sparrows, grackles, raccoons, squirrels, opossums, voles, foxes, badgers, bobcats, white tail deer, wild turkeys (not bottled), chipmunks, large mouth bass, catfish, carp, trout, crappies, sunfish, hybrid stripped bass, alligator gar, sturgeon, bowfin, alligators, cotton mouth's, copperheads, canebreak rattlers, coral snakes, venus fly traps, pitcher plants, sabal palms, live oaks, spanish moss, and various and sundry irritating plants and animals. You are better off staying far, far away from this festering cesspool and stick with the "civilized" Brooklyn society. Keep telling everyone what a terrible time you had when you were here like you promised (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
--Happy Former Native of NY
Ferb | Taylors, SC