The kids' table
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6/6/2016
But now I'm done. Have lived here for over a decade and am leaving, finally. Portland is a wonderful city with great potential. Problem is, there's a wide streak of ineptitude and arrogance that makes accomplishing things more difficult than it has to be. Yes, on the surface, the customer service is friendly, but if you require one iota of effort beyond what's normally offered, that smile turns into a snarl real quick. Portland is ruled by the Peter Principle (people are promoted to the level of their incompetence). You will find here that you use the phrase "You had one job" way more than you thought humanly possible. And there are several realities that I have come to just accept: Never try doing business on a Monday (too close to the weekend), don't expect cheerful service in a restaurant on a Sunday (staff hung over). Forget doing business on a Friday (almost the weekend) or having anyone here conduct any commercial transaction with anything resembling "hustle" (needing things quickly and efficiently is perceived as you being "pushy"). And to those who say "it doesn't rain as much as they say," you must have come here in an off year, because it was November through June for all 11 years I was here, with a few exceptions. And actually, that's kind of good, because it explains the demeanor of the people. They aren't intentionally slow and cranky, it's just physiologically impossible to maintain a good mood without sunlight, and that's a scientifically proven fact. As for the overall vibe, I'm the rare older person (40s) who's not scornful of hipster culture. I can appreciate what the kids of Portland are doing with their artisanal food and their beards. I also realize with youth comes a certain amount of trial an error on things like service and other person-to-person skills. Problem is, the desire to be young forever bleeds into all age groups, and what you get are 55-year old business owners acting like they're 25 too. I've heard grey haired shop owners talk disparagingly about their customers in front of me, I've had middle aged store keepers ignore me as they gossiped with other middle-aged workers, and I've endured all sorts of inept f*ckery from people who had outgrown the spacy-is-cute phase of their lives like 20 years ago. And don't ever expect anyone to be contrite about their lame service, because that requires admitting a mistake, which seems physically impossible to some folks here. Bottom line: at some point, you have to be a grownup, but it seems like no one really wants to here, because it involves taking risk and being exposed to challenge. That's fine, not everyone needs to be a type-A high powered shark, but there is a benefit to everyone doing whatever job they have really well. That's how cities become great, not simply by saying they are like Portland does. Over all, if you want to act like a kid forever and avoid taking risks and live in a little protected bubble of groovy unreality, this is the place for you. And PS, it's not like I'm a Republican or anything. My politics actually veer toward the radical. I just have a work ethic that says even if you are scrubbing a toilet, you try to be the best toilet scrubber there is even if your ego tells you are really a rockstar.
Co Co | Portland, OR