Reviews & Comments
Naples, FL
80 is the Magic Number in Naples -
8/9/2007If you are 80 years old, have 80 million dollars, love to be in 80 degree weather with 80 percent humidity, and shoot an average of 80 on the golf course, then head on down I-75 to beautiful Naples, Florida.
Here, you will be in your own little world of overpriced restaurants, real estate and shoppes.
Drape yourself in tacky clothes, place your teacup Yorkie under your arm, then go for a stroll down Fifth Avenue with your nose high up in the air. Just be sure to look down once in a while, so your Christian Louboutin shoes don't end up in poo courtesy of someone else's precious little doggie.
Fort Lauderdale, FL
Lauderdale is a Toilet -
8/7/2007When I first moved to Florida 4 years ago, I worked in Lauderdale and it was the worst. Homeless people are everywhere and are waiting to wash your windshield for a quarter while you gas up your car. Speaking of cars, mine was keyed while parked off of A1A while I walked the dirty, overcrowded strip. When you drive, keep your doors locked and windows rolled up at all times, as you will most likely encounter a road rage incident or two. Rednecks, obnoxious New Yorkers, cheesy older men who think it's still Spring Break 1985, drunk older women with tattoos and no teeth, and a host of other undesirables are waiting to show you a good time in Fort Lauderdale, so make sure to reserve your room at the Sleazeball Inn today!