Life in Indianapolis
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11/27/2015
If you're reading this, it's probably because you're thinking about moving here. I'm posting this to help you.
People Who Will Probably Like Indy
If you were a jock in high school you'll probably like it here. This is especially true if you've been out of high school now for at least 20 years, have put on an extra 150 pounds, haven't exercised since the 1980s, still drink like you're in college and you just leased a convertible because you think it makes you look cool. Another thing that makes Indy a good bet for you is if you like to do what everyone else does and prefer not to think for yourself. Voting Republican also helps, if only because Democrats are commies. It also helps if you smoke, hate your job and wife but are too lazy to look for a new one...job or wife. If good enough is your mantra, Indy is your town.
People Who Will Probably Hate Indy
If you like to think for yourself and prefer hanging with a wide variety of interesting people, you probably won't like it here, mostly because you will be shunned if you have the audacity to think for yourself. On the bright side, being shunned by Hoosiers is actually a blessing. It gives you an opportunity to leave town every weekend in search of interesting people.
Seriously, this place is obsessed with itself. I've never seen anything like it. When they had the Super Bowl here, people walked around for months talking about how people from New England and New York loved it here. Seriously. I'll bet none of them have come back. It was just a throwaway comment that people make not to offend others, but here it became the Gospel Truth. There's this guy who has a Facebook page called Indy is Wonderful or something equally inane and he posts article after article about how bad Illinois and Chicago are, as it's either Indy or Chicago...no other choices. The convention people go up against other cities for conventions and they win a few, mostly because they provide kickbacks to the organizers. Nobody anywhere ever said "Gee, I hope they have the hardware show in Indy this year instead of New Orleans or Las Vegas" but the locals actually believe they do say this. Naval gazing is a huge pasttime in Indy and these same people are constantly putting paid pieces in national media to get you to move here. Don't fall for it. You're smarter than they are. You'd have to be. So do your due diligence. Indpendently verify some of their nonsense. Then run.
Or come and marry a Hoosier chick and go to work at IU Health. You'll hate your wife and job soon enough, but you won't have to dump them. Just hang on and whine about it. Indy rocks!
Demi | Indianapolis, IN