Weirdest city on the planet...
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5/31/2018
I met this guy from Indianapolis online and we kind of hit it off so he suggested I come for a visit. I currently live on the East Coast and travel a lot but I had never been to Indiana so sure, why not? I Googled it and came across a bunch of positive reviews of the city and this guy literally gushed about it.
No. Just no. I get off the plane and we're barely out of the airport when a pothole almost swallows the Uber guy's Prius. Then another, and another and another and so I ask him what the deal is. "Its our weather" he says to me like I'm from Mars. I'm actually from Providence, so I know a little about cold weather and freeze-thaw cycles. I also know that Indianapolis potholes are the worst on the planet. Ever hear of hot patch? You might want to try it, Indianapolis. Or not. Like I said...not my car.
The drive in from the airport was pretty interesting. Except for the lack of incoming rockets, I could have been in Aleppo or Damascus. I've been to both and the comparison is perhaps a bit unfair. People in Syria have a little pride. In Indiana, not so much. I've never seen so many burned out, bombed out houses in my life.
I finally make it downtown to my hotel and later I meet this guy and he suggests that we go to Mass Avenue and Fountain Square. Both were fine but hardly exceptional. He went on and on about them like no other city has neighborhoods and brewpubs and bars. Ever hear of Portland, Indianapolis? The Pearl? Hello?
Turns out Junior (that's my new name for him) lives in Carmel with Mom and Dad. In addition to Indianapolis, he said he loves IU basketball, the Colts (Go Peyton) and genuine people. He digs on sunsets. He asked me if I wanted to go up to Carmel and meet his parents. I didn't.
So all in all, I feel a little like I got gamed. Not just by junior but by those glowing reviews. Indianapolis is very much an adolescent city. It's like Denver was in the early 1980s but Denver grew up. I don't think Indy ever will. Too much inbreeding. No blood from outside the area. Not my problem. I've seen it and I'm not coming back. In hindsight, I should have chosen the guy from NOLA. That would have been a fun weekend...even if he lived with Mom and Dad in Metarie.
Sarah | Highland, IN