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Dothan, AL

Backwoods redneck hell - 6/20/2018
I have lived in Dothan my whole life with the exception of a few years where I moved North to help out a family member. This town is run by 'Good ol boys' Either you're part of them, or against them. We have a tiny sorry "water park" that is old, nasty, and run down but the owners who know someone 'important' prevent any other water park from coming to town. Everything in this city works like that.

You want a job? Better know someone who's uncles' sisters' ex-boyfriends' neighbors' mom goes to church with.... otherwise you're out of luck. But the job market has been declining for years so that may not even do it. Any job you apply for, you have about 200 people competing.....that is if you can even find a job posting. Most hiring managers hire people they already know. I've gotten every job I've ever had by word of mouth.

As far as the schools, prepare for your child to be paddled. Yes you read that correctly. City schools will not let you opt-out if this nor do they legally even have to notify you. Your kid will also have to wear uniforms at city schools. There are very few school events so don't plan on seeing any plays, recitals, or anything extra-curricular... there's just no funding for it.

If you enjoy outdoor activities, be prepared for gnats flying into your eyes, nose, ears, mouth, and everywhere else. These tiny fly like pests will swarm at you by the hundreds, and they stick around for MONTHS! It makes even stepping outside absolutely dreadful. I promise you, it is enough to turn any outdoor enthusiast into a couch potato. Speaking of outdoors, we also have pratically every spider, snake, and insect known to man.

As far as weather, we pretty much have two seasons, blazing burning hell heat and then cold. It is usually hot from March to about October. During the hottest months, we get up to triple digits. But worse than the heat is the humidity. You will feel wet and sticky most of the year....again with gnats buzzing all around you. In November it usually gets a little cooler. We may have a day or two with very little ice in January or February, but that is rare. It gets a little cold, but nothing drastic and there is no snow. If for some rare reason, there are a few snowflakes, the city pratically shuts down. And I literally mean a few, like not even enough to partially cover the windshield of a car. We also get tornados and hurricanes and all kinds of tropical storms. We had several weeks this summer, before hurricane season, where it rained every single day. I think it was about a month straight. That's typical.

When it comes to things to do, there is very little. Everybody pretty much goes out to eat and the younger crowds go to bars. The teenage crowds hang out in parking lots. For families, there are two parks in the city but not much else.

The people are all the same. Conservative christian type who drink Saturdy night but show up early for church the next morning. If you are different, you will be shunned. There are no exceptions to this. When you meet somebody new, the first thing you will be asked is 'what high school did you go to' so that person can scan through a list of people you might know, might be related to, may have dated, or someone they think you might go to church with so they can contact that person and get the scoop on your entire life... because trust me, everyone knows.

On a positive note, housing is relatively cheap and the Florida coast is less than 2 hours away.

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