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Scottsdale, AZ

Worst "city" on earth - 7/29/2018
I moved to Scottsdale from Los Angeles - and then quickly moved back out. It wasn't just the sweltering heat that made me feel like I had entered the tenth circle of hell, but also the people's ghastly personalities. Once, I dared to say "hi" to a neighbor, and she scooped up her gnarly Schnauser and scurried away on the spot. I consider myself a normal looking person, but from her reaction, you would have thought I had some fierce, contagious disease. Total whack job. Another neighbor once "welcomed" me to the neighborhood by banging on my door at 7:30 a.m. to warn me that I'd better tell the landscapers to trim the tree (I had one?) that was growing over the wall into his backyard, or he would have to take matters into his own hands.
As if those things weren't bad enough, I was dismayed to discover an abysmal lack of nightlife in my new town. Worse, the few places I did try out were brimming with douchebags. People here brag about money and like to name drop about the D-list celebrities whom they supposedly met one time at a party. Or, businesses here like to go full-on cheeseball and advertise themselves as "celebrity choice" establishments. Uh - forgive me, but WHAT celebrities (real ones, not D-listers or children of actors from the 1980s) actually live here? In L.A., when I told people I was moving here, half of them thought I meant some place up north, not to Arizona. Most people didn't even know where Scottsdale was. They just assumed it was closer to the Bay Area or somewhere else - you know - near a city that mattered. To the pitifully desperate people in Scottsdale who, for some reason, truly believe they are relevant: You aren't. I do wish they would stop trying so hard. People who really have money don't talk about it. Their class speaks for itself. People who really are exceptional don't have to say it. It shines through. So please, knock it off pretending already. Like the saying goes, "If you have to tell people you are something, then you aren't." If there is one thing I do wish people here would learn it's this: Scottsdale matters to no one except for the desperate fools who live there.

As for me, I moved out. Good riddance.


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