Tl;dr: San Diegans don’t seem to know how to smile
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8/6/2021
I lived in San Diego in 2016. I left ASAP, and haven’t looked back (by choice, anyway). My company in L.A. still sent me back to SD on occasion for work before I moved to Texas.
Let's just say, I'm a much bigger fan of most of the rest of California, and most of the rest of the West, than I am of a self-overrated bubble of a giant city which still thinks it's a small town. Basically, own up to being a metropolis (e.g., LA/OC, SF Bay Area, Phoenix, Las Vegas), or be the best version of a smaller city you can be (e.g., Wasatch Front cities, St. George, Boise); San Diego does neither, in my view.
I'll start with the positives of SD:
- SD is a safe metropolis, even by international standards, let alone American standards - even with the homeless challenges that city is facing today. Apart from a few areas along the 805 Freeway, and some side streets in Barrio Logan and San Ysidro at night, I’ve felt as safe in SD as I do in many places in Europe (still not like Singapore-safe or even Berlin-safe, but pretty safe, to be sure).
- SD is a city that really likes its military presence, and is, collectively, thankful for the military’s service to our country.
- If you have a SENTRI pass, crossing into and from Mexico is a breeze, and reaching destination in Baja for a weekend getaway isn’t a big issue.
- Anza-Borrego is a gem of a state park, amazing place.
- Balboa Park is one of the best urban parks I’ve seen in the world, and possibly my very favorite place in the area.
- Imperial Beach is a true, old-school Southern California beach that is neither ghetto (anymore) nor overcommercialized/yuppified.
- On the other hand, La Jolla Cove (the opposite of Imperial Beach basically) is just heavenly.
- Proximity to L.A., Palm Springs, Arizona, and relatively easy flights to much of the US and Mexico (by accessing the CBX to enter the Tijuana Airport).
- Some great local universities, especially UCSD, but also SDSU, USD and PLNU.
Yet, none of those upside factors were enough to keep me in SD.
In short, what I didn’t, and still don’t, like about SD:
- Traffic: Not LA/OC, Bay Area, or even Houston bad overall, but the 5 Freeway from downtown and north is just unacceptable—and getting rapidly worse.
- Radio selection: What gives, SD? Yeah, Even Tijuana stations play more contemporary Mexican music, and obviously L.A. is the entertainment capital of the world and that is reflected in its media quality. SD reminds me of Australia and New Zealand in this regard, stepping back 20+ years in time to when “Blessid Union of Souls” was a big deal.
- Homeless situation: Not L.A. or Bay Area bad, but increasingly bad, especially around the vicinity of the beautiful central library and Horton Plaza. Actually rather sad, and I pin this problem more on California state policies than on the municipal governments in SD County.
- Cuisine: There are some good restaurants there, sure, but the general quality and scene is not as wonderful as the locals think they are. Go to a host of other cities around the world, even the U.S., and enjoy higher-quality cuisine with better service and the same or better prices. Even Mexican food is better in L.A. and the Bay Area, let alone Asian cuisines (the L.A. area has the San Gabriel Valley and Westminster/Garden Grove). Carne asada fries aren’t anything special, y’all.
- Road rage: Some of the very worst I've seen, with plenty of impatient, reckless, too-cool-for-school a-holes in their leased Beemers and lift-kit pickups. Not as bad as Houston, where I also used to live, but more noticeable in my experience than much larger cities like L.A., London, Paris, Sydney, and Singapore.
- Unprofessionalism: Shockingly unprofessional, and even brazenly rude companies, who blatantly mistreat candidates during the interview process, let alone employees during employment. I’ve never seen a place where so many good people, hard-working, efficient, and intelligent, are fired from their jobs for arbitrary BS—and this is considering that the general work climate in the rest of the US is already toxic as it is. (Thankfully, I wasn’t fired in SD, but I got a transfer back to L.A. which I requested.)
- Wages: Commensurate to the cost of living, they’re AWFUL. SD employers know they can be psychologically abusive (as aforementioned) and pay what the market dictates, which is a low wage relative to the cost of living. Natives want to stay in SD because they can’t stomach the idea of ever leaving for L.A. or the Bay Area or anywhere else. 20-something ditzes from Indiana, and 20-something recent discharges from the Marines from Mississippi, want to live their “California dream” in SD, whatever it takes. Employers know this; so, a job that might pay $85-100k in San Francisco or $70-90k in Los Angeles or Orange County will pay only $45k-60k in San Diego. Said SD wage might be the same wage as, or only slightly higher than, it would be in Indianapolis or Biloxi, but the costs of living in Indy and Biloxi are obviously way, way lower. Employees line up in droves to take these jobs, and deal with the BS of the jobs just to live in SD, until they find another job that pays more (again, in SD, still poorly commensurate to the cost of living) or just move back east.
- Insularity and being overly prideful: This is an odd one, but it’s true. You’d think that given SD’s proximity to L.A., on the Mexican border, and as a transient city for people from all over the U.S. wanting to find their “California dream” or fulfulling their military obligations, that San Diegans wouldn’t be so defensive about their city. Nuh-uh. Criticize anything about it, and I mean anything—even the increasingly bad homeless situation or increasingly bad traffic with the most sensitive types—and your name is s**t in a social circle, neighborhood, or workplace pretty quickly. Imperfections are ignored in SD in a manner so blatantly closed-minded that I haven’t seen anywhere else in the world, except maybe the rural American South. “We’re not L.A.! That’s all that matters.”
- Rudeness and aloofness of the locals: If I had a nickel for every outright blatant jerk I’ve ever met in SD County, and I mean anywhere from Escondido to Imperial Beach, I could buy a house up in Beverly Hills. As for rudeness: From the aforementioned road rage, to blatantly insulting coworkers and bosses for no reason, to outright rude customer service staff, to witnessing my fair share of pushy customers in any setting from nice restaurants to Walmarts, many San Diegans are openly aggressive and miserable. Not a majority, but a great many. As for aloofness: I would say that a great majority of San Diegans, even if they aren’t exactly rude, are still aloof, distant, and very disinterested in the people around them except their “bros” and pals, and are quite unappreciative of random acts of kindness (yes, I’ve seen this, too).
One thing I acknowledge, the people I met who are above the age of about 55 and grew up there, or who otherwise moved there before the '90s, are generally pretty decent folks, as I remember. Those folks, however, seem to be a minority in the metropolis. It seems that many younger or otherwise more transient San Diegans, of whom I met a great many, are the ones about whom I’m describing my negative experiences.
Overall, even Los Angeles, Orange County, and Houston (which I didn't care for at all) have friendlier people overall than San Diego.
John | Euless, TX