Better than living in Calcutta, I suppose. -_-
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11/25/2018
After moving here from Knoxville, TN when I was ten, the best thing I can say about this prison city that I've lived in for the past three decades is that quality of life here is better than in half of the rest of Obama's America, but that's really not saying much. I suppose if you're an uneducated, low wage union worker redneck who thinks that everyone different is gay and that books are for fairies, you won't simply like it here, you'll thrive with your litter of offspring and trailer trash wife. You can go fishing, sometimes, in the polluted river (they've got some really big catfish here; just don't eat them)....and enjoy the early morning smog, and the air quality which literally kills birds, small animals, and people with allergies and some days is actually less than Beijing's. Also, if you're slightly higher class, you can be a pretentious 'metrosexualized' faux liberal yuppie with the actual sensibilities and judgment of your neighbors as a Quaker might exhibit during a witch-hunt. But hey, man....we're all ABOUT community. We do small town big. Don't worry about college either....you don't want to be uppity, OVER-EDUCATED, and unemployed in the sporadic local 'job market' of extreme minimum wage Amazon and VW drones (besides, Chattanooga State, the local community college, has a graduation rate now of a whopping ten percent....and good luck finding parking anywhere at UTC). If you're a socialist millennial (and yes, we have a bevy of 'em) you can always enjoy the welfare, just don't get hurt here: good luck with the hospitals and insurance. Recreational past times for citizens of Chattanooga include casual paranoid bigotry and commentary, gossip, bullying, gossip, loud hoots and catcalls directed creepily enough at men, gossip, games such as 'corn-hole' and 'stab-em-n'-the-back', near 70's era racism and NASCAR.....ooh BOY! Did I mention gossip? If you're going downtown you can enjoy bullet tag, or maybe skip on over the state line into Rossville, GA where you can find fugly but cheap prostitutes with good hard drugs. We don't have arcades here, but you can enjoy a good game of Frogger every time you get behind the wheel. Basically, this place is one big Dixieland cracker-jack progressive idiot's paradise. Come on down. We can't get enough rubes. And just remember if this place isn't to your liking.....it's just because we're better than you. The South's gonna do it again! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAWWWWWWWW. :-)
Nick | Chattanooga, TN