Fort Wayne
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3/20/2006
If you want to gain a new appreciation for about anywhere else in the world, live in Fort Wayne. Former swamp lands that was founded by "Mad" Anthony Wayne, (he was crazy from Malria), Fort Wayne is a wonderful place to live if you enjoy crime and real life murder mysteries (43 murders in one year is our record), enjoy counting up the number of lost jobs per year(several thousand and counting), and love the gloom and cold of absoultly sunless winters (40 days a year straight without sunshine). In fact it is a great place to live because you can save money by not having to buy sunglasses or worry about skin cancer. In fact if you missed visting the Berlin wall before it came crashing down last century, you can come and visit the great interstate wall of Fort Wayne along Interstate 69, (yes our interstate is named after an adult activity). We have a beautiful tall grey wall that borders our highway, perfectly blocking all businesses from view and leaving residental areas all open to the hum and buzz of our delightful interstate system! If you hate downtown night life activites, you'll love it here. The mayor and powers that be are working in vain to attract any kind of life form to the downtown so that you can rest assured there will be no crowds to navigate thru while you visit our many beautiful storefronts sporting For Lease signs. Also if you love spending large amounts of your income on gasoline (our quick footed gas station owners raise the price 30 cents in an hour) and enjoy shelling out extra change for our parking meters, boy is this your place! If you despise job security and want to make less income than your colleges across the state line, this is also your ticket! If you think flood insurance is for sissys, and want to experience white water rafting in your own living room, come on down! If you want cheap housing (a good thing) and want to lose it finacially when you come to sell (a bad thing), this place is great! If your children want to go to a fancy school building and not learn anything or if you enjoy the continued toot toot of a happy little locomotives on their way to Detroit, fantastic!
CoNnIe | Fort Wayne, IN