This Town Is Awful
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3/6/2011
First, allow me to clarify that I was born and raised in Florida. Specifically, the beachside. This state gas been on a sharp decline since my childhood, helped along by Northerners who imported the horrible, jaded, rude attitude that defines Florida today.
Every day starts with my commute to work. I am lucky I have a job, seeing as there aren't many here. Sure, you can get a job at one of the theme parks making $7.25 an hour, but most people like to eat and pay rent. My commute involves navigating a series of clogged backsides before hitting the I-4 parking lot. There are accidents every morning, and every yokel has to stop and gawk at it. I plan 90 minutes to get to work each day. I live 31 miles away. Seriously. The roads have not kept up with the fact that every New Yorker, Canadian, and retiree has moved here.
Yes, lucky to have a job. Except, of course, this is a right-to-work state, meaning I could be fired at any moment without a reason. It's good to feel valuable. Thanks, Florida!
Another thing I can thank Florida for is my subpar education. Americans are getting dumber by the year, and Florida consistently ranks at the bottom of every education list. If you graduate from a Florida public school, you'll either be able to read or do math. Both are never achieved successfully. I can barely work an algebraic equation which rendered me to numerous remedial classes in college (a very common problem), yet they gave me a high school diploma and kicked me out into the real world. My education was a joke. I was never diagnosed with ADHD in school and had issues that were never addressed. In fact, I barely did homework and spend 50% of class doodling and 50% daydreaming. It's nearly impossible to have an intellectual conversation here because locals are absolutely incapable of critical thinking. I graduated with above a 3.0 GPA. In Florida, I could have become a doctor.
On that note, many flunkees of life do practice medicine here. Our healthcare is a joke. In Orlando, I had to see four different gynecologists to get a common female problem diagnosed. Doctors who have been kicked out of New York regularly practice medicine in Florida. We also have a slew of "pain clinics" that are painkiller dispensaries. One of these babies in your neighborhood, along with the onslaught of people dealing on your lawn, will surely kill your property value.
The cost of living here is not great. People say it is, but these idiots are from New York. $700 for a 1-bedroom apartment in a neighborhood with drive-by shootings is not spectacular when the average person makes about $12 an hour. The pay here us garbage. Thank you, Disney. I hold a degree and the jobs I see want to pay me $9-$10 an hour, which is insulting. Gas is often higher in price than most states and we definitely pay more for fruits and vegetables.
Now that I've trashed Florida as a whole, let me sum up Orlando:
-Angriest City In America 2006
-#9 Rudest City in America 2011
-#3 Most Violent Crimes 2011
-Traffic congestion so bad, your car will become a vessel for primal screaming
-Extremely high number of uninsured drivers
-We have one of the highest populations of registered sex offenders in the country
-Turn on "Nancy Grace." I guarantee that murdered child case happened here
-Everybody is aloof. Southern grace and charm has long been replaced by Northern apathy
-There are NO jobs. What you'll find is low in pay. Anybody who moves here for work is a fool
-There used to be a defined Orlando ghetto. It has spread outward. Now it encompasses most of Orlando
-If you live in an apartment complex as a single woman, you will be frightened
-Orlando hates the homeless. It is illegal to feed them. Yes, you can go to jail for giving a bum at Big Mac. Guess what they do now? They bombard you for CASH when you go downtown. Good luck getting from your car to destination on food without bring solicited at least 3 times
-The weather. If you like being hot and sweaty (and some people do) then this will be Heaven. If you like mild and sunny, we get that for about a month. Every day from April-October is when it pours rain every afternoon. Thunderstorms with lightening are normal
-Because of the lovely weather, it's harder to get insurance on your home. My parents were dropped after 25 years and had to find another provider. It was a difficult process.
Orlando sucks. I hate this place with a passion. As a young woman, I'm desperate to leave so I don't end up settling here and raising idiotic children. Coming here would be a poor decision on anybody's behalf.
Chris | Lockhart, FL