The Truth About Phoenix
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3/24/2007
If you like Oklahoma City, Bakersfield or Salt Lake City this will not apply to you. However, if the excitement, culture and nightlife of Manhattan or San Francisco appeals to, then your experience in Phoenix will be something like this:
First Six Months: You will tell your friends in LA, SF and NYC that you "love it here, everything is less expensive, winters are gorgeous, etc."
Six Months - 1 Year: You begin to notice that 1)The pollution is worse than SF, LA or NYC 2) The "Dry Heat" during the summer is probably what killed the dinosaurs 3) A lot of people do crystal meth 4) The "city" is nothing more than an endless strip mall filled with F-150 pickups 5) A lot of your girlfriends have been stalked by crazy ex-boyfriends 6) That cute nice girl next door is really a stripper 7) When your friends back East ask about the Arizona Cardinals, you say "Who's that?"
1 Year - 1 1/2 years: 1) That horrible cough and lethargy you have is Valley Fever and it won't go away 2) Someone smashed your car due to road rage 3) The people who have lived here more than 5 years and tell you that they still "love Phoenix" are really those who weren't good enough to make it in SF, LA or NYC and you begin to have the sinking feeling that this is what your friends in SF, LA or NYC are now thinking about you.
1 1/2 years+: You either get back to the real world or you start to believe that Bush/Cheney was a good idea and you stay in Phoenix to marry your pregnant Mormon girlfriend.
David | Palm Springs, CA