Loathed Portland
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11/19/2017
I moved to Portland for love. I honestly thought I would like the city, and would be able to tolerate the weather. I was so dead wrong on both accounts. At first glance Portland seems like a fun town with pulse. Kind of funky, kind of unique, somewhat aesthetically pleasing. There are hills, little stores everywhere, and it stays pretty green year round. All things that I find to be desirable. The reality of Portland settled in quickly, and it took me a year to get out. I will never look back. So, for a little background about where I'm coming from- I have been to every state in the US besides Alaska. I've lived on both coasts, but not too much in the middle. I've tolerated winters in Pittsburgh PA for 19 years and Bozeman MT for 2 years. We can start with the weather in Portland- it SUCKS. I have never been through a winter so depressing in my entire life. I believe I saw the sun (for more than a minute or 3) five times between December 1st and June 15th. I know these dates because on June 15th I flew to AZ (wearing wool socks, water proof boots and a coat- in June!!). I got out of the airport in Phoenix, stood in the 110 degree heat from the sun, and cried like a baby because it had been so long since I had felt warmth or saw that solar star in the sky that gives us life. July through part of September is nice.. Sometimes a bit too hot, but tolerable. But that is only 2.5 months of the year! The rest of the days are cloudy and miserable. The traffic. Ive never seen anything like it in my life, and I lived for a year in LA. In other cities with traffic, there seems to be a common desire among all drivers- to get somewhere. Not in Portland. 7am on a weekday, there will be a slight break in the traffic, and what do the other drivers do? Continue to drive below the speed limit. It took me 2 hours to go 35 miles to work everyday. And 2 hours home. Driving behind people who are afraid of their gas pedal... I've never experienced road rage like this. Eventually the rage just turned to apathy and depression. Oh, and God forbid you try to pass somebody. Twice, I had the person I was trying to pass weave into the oncoming lane to prevent me from passing them. Then they drove EXTRA slow to teach me a lesson.---- Everybody is so friendly. Not something to complain about? I beg to differ. Its just surface, politically correct, friendliness. However, there are no feelings of authenticity. If anybody asks you, "how are you?", the appropriate answer is always, "good, thanks, and you?". If you stray from these lines with a little bit of real emotion, the people will look at you like your nuts.----- The 'Diversity'... Really? Portlanders seem to really embrace the 'Keep Portland Wierd" motto, as well as the "Celebrate Diversity" theme. Too bad everybody looks the absolute same. Most everybody is white, and they all dress and act in the same Hipster fashion. I saw zero actual diversity when I was there. Another example of this is the countless Black Lives Matter signs I saw perched in yards all over the city and suburbs. My thoughts were, 'Yes, but why then do I not actually see any black people living here?'----- The supposed 'love of Nature'. Everybody is 'Green' and outdoor enthusiasm is at an alltime high. But, you have to travel pretty darn far to actually get into any real nature. I explained it like this to my friend, while comparing Portland to Arizona - In Arizona people are out hiking, scaling cliffs, and finding little natural pools of water to cool off in, while wearing their flip flop shoes. In Portland, there's many times more than enough Outdoorsy stores. Everybody seems to have the best hiking shoes, and apparel for taking on the wild. And yet, nobody is actually out there doing it. Very few people are out on the cold, wet, muddy trails. Do they really need all that fancy outdoors gear to hang out at the bar?----- The Bars. Portland, in my opinion has great restaurants and bars. However, alcoholism seems to be rampant. Its just normal to wake up and have a drink or five. I was told by a Portlander that the excessive drinking only coincides with the 10 month rainy season. That's relieving to know. ---- The cost of housing is ridiculous. I would compare it to a lot of California. But here's the thing- Portland isn't California. It doesn't have the endless sunny days with mild temperatures. It doesn't have the warm beaches. It doesn't have the diversity. It doesn't have Yosemite, the Redwoods, the Sequoias, Death Valley, etc etc. So it shouldn't cost anywhere near as much to live there as it does in California. My boyfriend and I bought a modest farm house on one acre 30 minutes from the city and it cost 450k. In my opinion the house was worth maybe 200k. The housing market is insane. By the end of our house hunting journey, a day in our life went like this: wake up and get a call from a realtor about a house that went on the market today. Put in a bid 30k higher than asking price without even SEEING the house. Wait a few hours to find out that there were 10-20 other offers. At the end of the day find out that we were out-bidded. No Thank you. ----- I could actually go on, but ill spare you my loathing. Needless to say, ill never go back to Portland.
D | Sedona, AZ