Review of Ann Arbor, Michigan

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The city of Pretenders

- 1/16/2007
Overpriced apartments house twice the legal limit of occupants (because ann arbor is such a good place to live of course) The rich kids slowly drive through campus with their benz or land rovers (going extra slow so you note their face). Huge homes lay empty of furniture, freshly constructed, with cars in the driveway that look as though they belong to a retail worker (as long as they have the house, its all good) Early thirties moms push their expensive strollers down s.main wearing north face head to toe along with a fake smile (just for the name of course), and hiking shoes (just to fit in with the outdoor types). Hopelessly faking their cell phone conversations while overusing the word "like" until it has become nauseating to pronounce. Kiddies line up outside of the clubs eager to drink away their college savings and pretend to have fun. The " career sophisticates" push their shopping carts around whole foods glaring at seemingly "non belonging" individuals, and hassling the clerks for pure enjoyment as they pretend to listen to voice mail, proud as they present a silver piece of plastic to pay with (which notes status and the fact their able to pay interest on their food). The mall rats roam the mall waiting for moms cc (although shes had to take out money from retirement to look wealthy). Grumpy old ladies protect their apples at the farmers market, along with their 20 dollar syrups. The women that are "too good to touch" drink their 10 dollar glasses of wine at vinology and nauseate themselves with valley girl chatter and comparisons of (lied about) future employment offers or the latest one night stand. Zingerman's rakes in cash while unsuspecting consumers pay 20 dollars for a nothing special sandwich. The mindless joggers run through no walk signs staring at you with disdain if you proceed with your green light. Freshman girls sport their new wardrobes from urban outfitters (which they spent their leftover financial aid on), strutting down state street hoping to fit in for the next four wasted years. The businessmen hold up their drunken one night stands as they exit the Earl, praying their wives don't drive by. To try to sound intelligent is the rule if you visit Borders, and almost always misuse of long words is noticed by the housewife glaring(as she pretends to read her own art magazine)through her bulletproof glasses with skin tight twill capris. Yes, the city vibrates a extraordinary amount of diversity in which the only reason for its rea
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