Don't move to Detroit
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10/6/2005
Don't move to Detroit unless you have these things:
Car:
A car alarm. A "Club." Anti-theft locks on your wheels. Off-street, secure parking (your backyard is not secure.). Two cars, because if one breaks down or is stolen, good luck.
House:
An alarm system. Bars on your windows. Curtains-always closed. A vicious guard dog. A gun (you do not have to believe you are pro-or-anti-gun. Just do it.). Watch out for lead paint, lead pipes that might poison your water. Be careful about the air you breathe; if it smells funny, stay inside, as it's probably toxic waste from the incinerator that you are breathing.
Mental:
A "frontier" mentality. An appreciation of "bohemian" life, without any sort of economy or cultural infrastructure to support creativity. A blind eye to corruption, to graft, to limping, crack-addicted beggers. Preparation to be mugged, attacked, have your dog shot, cars hit you if walking or biking, finding dead bodies in the home you purchased sight-unseen, etc. Be prepared that no public services will work, that the city will not answer its phone at various offices. Be prepared that you are entering a place where the education levels are lower than average, and realize that this means your communications and interactions with people might have to change accordingly.
Tangible:
Money. Lots of it. It keeps you from facing the reality that is Detroit.
Not-safe areas: Metro Detroit. Any suburb that touches it on the map. Especially East Detroit, central, south west, and west. Unfamiliar with north.
Women:
Be prepared to be stared at. Be prepared to NEVER EVER WALK ANYWHERE ALONE. No one should walk anywhere after light starts to fade. Be prepared to change your clothing habits; what looks demure to you probably isn't.
Everyone:
You cannot ever leave your possessions unattended. Don't even bother trying to plant flowers in your front yard; they'll be stolen, roots and all. Don't ever leave your car idling, "just for a minute;" don't leave your bag on the table at a restaurant. Keep your trash cans locked up until trash day, as the homeless will root through them.
Good luck.
Abhd | Detroit, MI