Review of Abilene, Texas


This place is literally hell
Star Rating - 4/15/2018
I will never be able to stress enough why you should never move, or visit, this terrible black-hole of a town. If you are military and get dragged into this hellhole, I fully apologize and can't even begin to thank you for the sacrifice you've made that will never be repaid for rotting away here for four to six years of your life. First off, if for whatever ungodly reason you ever decide, or are forced, to move to this craphole, you'll want to have a lobotomy done so that you will be on par with the idiots that make up this "community". The way people drive here is incomprehensible as you will have people pull out in front of you daily, change lanes while turning, normally with no blinker to compliment said turn, drive so slow under the speed limit that they may as well be walking, ignore yeild signs as if they were optional, and somehow cause traffic jams in a town that's population is smaller than the amount of brain cells the average Abilene citizen possesses. The roads in this town are just as bad as the drivers who utilize them. Filled with potholes, a lack of lights where they desprerately are needed (as the lobotomites don't know how a four way stop works), and a massive lack of turn-arounds where you have to drive to the city limits by the hospital just to turn around, only to realize your better choice would be to just keep driving past the city limits and pray this town gets wiped out in a bath of nuclear fire one day (if China or Russia could find this mistake on a map.) As for what the town offers to pass the time, Abilene is the worst of both words. This town has nothing in it for people used to city life. There is nothing here that any other town in the world doesn't already offer, and most of the buildings are abandoned or filled with mold making Amazon your best, and safest, choice to get anything you need to keep you from killing yourself due to unrelenting boredom. If you prefer the outdoor life, this town offers nothing in that regard either. The "lake" here is more like a pollution dump filled with dead fish who didn't ask to be born here, and I would sooner eat at one of the atrocious Mom-and-Pop diners here before I ate any fish you manage to pull alive out of that health hazard. There is also a lack of outdoor ranges to do any night-firing and relieve the stress of being stuck in this joke of a town, and no woods to hunt/hike in as nothing can grow here with the soil that is red to symbolize the eighth circle of Hell, where this town was made. For a "tight-knit" community as the locals call it, the crime rate is disgusting. If you walk into a gas station here, there's a 110% chance it's been robbed before, and the incompetent police force who all have an IQ the same as their age does absolutely nothing to stop this. Homeless people, drug users of any flavor, and overweight beasts from Abilene Christian University who are looking to trap military members into a relationship for a free ticket out of here are the only things that make up the "downtown" area which somehow has even less to offer than the rest of Abilene. Everything closes around 7:00-9:00PM here on any day of the week that ends with a Y and liquor stores are closed on Sunday thanks to all the bible-thumpers who want to hangout with God, yet they don't realize this town is why God is three-deep into a pack of Coors every Sunday because he has to deal with them. The local populace will attempt to defend this town with such excuses as "There's worse places out there" (That makes your town better by zero percent saying it's worse somewhere by the way, and I would honestly rather go back to Afghanistan and remain there for three more years over being here) and "oh but you can drive to Dallas or San Antonio on the weekends!" (Again, I don't see how that makes THIS town better, yes a riveting 3-4 hour drive through more nothingness and no radio signal so I can sit in silence and contemplate veering my vehicle into an oncoming semi going 85 on these podunk roads.) This town is an awkward joke at best, a miserable little slice of "The Big Country" at worst, and the thing making it the most sad is knowing this town would disappear if Dyess were to move elsewhere since there is no economy here, but the local "government" just gives back the money we have to spend on the overpriced food and gas here back to the base so they won't leave. If you are reading this as a civilian with no ties to this place, just stay FAR away. If you are reading this as someone who lives here and defends this place; I hate you and your little podunk hillbilly hell more than you will ever be able to understand. If you are an Airman/Marine just graduating tech school who has orders here, good luck. After your 4-6 years you will never be the same.
Moraleis | Abilene, TX
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6 Replies


Great dissertation on not so small town America...… very amusing..... thank God not living there.... I bet all those God loving people are full of hatred towards anyone who is not like them.....
G | San Clemente, CA | Report Abuse

Good grief, find a hobby that doesn't include leaving whiney novella-length diatribes about a town that doesn't meet your exacting and lofty standards. I'll wager you'll be the one complaining to St. Peter that the gates aren't pearly enough.
Rob Creighton | Portland, OR | Report Abuse

I’ve lived here all my life and I about 95% agree with this post. I was so excited when I started dating, was later engaged to, and then married an Airman stationed at Dyess thinking that he would be here a few years and then we’d probably receive a PCS (Permanent Change of Station- for all y’all civilians out there.) Well, 9 years on we’re still here! ????? I was hoping that we’d get to leave and live in some other part of the world without the hideous drivers, among other unpleasantries noted in the original post, but NO!! It is true. This town is like a black hole. At least the citizens do not riot as do other idiots in other imbecile laden cities! That’s something for which I’m thankful.
Crystal | Abilene, TX | Report Abuse

C'mon! Don't sugar coat it. Tells us what you REALLY think!
Rick | Anaheim, CA | Report Abuse

Drop the mic Sir!
Bill | McGuire AFB, NJ | Report Abuse

..there. Feel better?
Malcom | Huntington Beach, CA | Report Abuse
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